But I can't.
The great stuff...
She loved school from day 1, and even better, she still loves school now.
A little boy in her class has been physically hurting her. I can't say bullying, because he's only 4, and he's not making a point to find and attack her. Rather, he's provoked by Miss4 correcting his 'naughty' behaviour, or getting into his space when he's said a firm, 'no'.
Miss4 has a need for order and correctness, as well as a need to communicate all that. She believes she's been helpful. Technically has been so, such as when he almost closed a door on a smaller child. With this kid, he ain't taking it. She also has a belief that we should always share. However, many times, you have to give people the right to their space.
I had a very bleak week, with one night of dark dark thoughts. Including thinking perhaps I ought to pull her out of school (for those who don't know, I had originally hoped to homeschool her, and the only reason she's in school at age 4.5 yrs, is because it was supposed to provide a gentle home-like environment, as Steiner schools do). I questioned everything. A night where I crawled into bed with her because of a primal need to hold and protect my 'baby'. I felt I had let her down.
The good stuff...
Both teacher, the parent of the boy, and myself, are working together to solve this issue. The teacher is very pro-active.
Also, on the other side of the dark thoughts now, I can accept that Miss4 is dealing with it really well. Both in how she responds to the boy - doesn't retaliate but is very firm about what's not okay, saying, no, stop, stop that - and although there have been signs of stress, she's otherwise really okay. I think I'm the one emotionally scarred!
And finally, it's given her a chance to deal with adversity, as well as us a chance to talk through some social issues. For her part, understanding other people's boundaries, and letting go of worrying about other children's behaviour. We chatted together, and decided together, that her 'job' at school was to have fun, be helpful, be kind, and have more fun. And the teacher can take care of the children. In a way, I believe that this also frees her of some anxiety, as she feels she ought to be taking care of bad behaviour. Too much of a burden on a small child, even if she wants to do it.
And building compassion. Talking about how that little boy is frightened about so many new children and such, and that's why he's hurting her and shouting in class. And that she can help him by not making him more scared, such as listening when he doesn't want her to play near him.
So... I'm accepting all this as an experience that will make her emotionally stronger and yet also a more other-aware person.
Oh how reasonable and positive I am! But 2 days ago you would have found me in a puddle of my own tears.