Monday, October 8

breaking away

I shed tears with no shame, all the way back to the car. My little girl, my clingy, need-regular-cuddles, rarely-been-parted-from-mama little girl, was away from me, at school.

Every day, rain or shine, is begun outdoors. Hence top-to-toe water-proofs and wellies.

I had gone prepared to stay until 10am (Steiner schools allow parents to hang around, apart and quietly, for an easier transition. I took a crochet project to keep busy), after which they go inside for lunch. But they went off to the 'big' playground due to a lot of muddiness in front of the class, and she popped back with the teacher to grab a tool for digging.

Teacher suddenly suggested, "Are you ready to say bye to mummy?"

What, huh, now?

"Yes", was Miss 4's simple reply. With a smile.

So off I was sent after only 1/2 an hour, and with a mere peck on the cheek. After all, there was a sandpit!

From 8:20ish until 12:20pm, for three mornings. So a very gentle beginning for the children. I have 3 hours ahead, of ME time!! Woohoo! All those projects waiting!

And yet, I can't focus on anything. So here I am, just blogging, working through my own side of the transition... seemingly less smooth than the child's.

p.s, and for those laughing along with me on facebook, at the thought of ME embroidering, well, the results (free-hand and on difficult terry cloth mind you) are nothing to be ashamed about - held at a distance and squinting. But, that'll do me for fiddly thread work.


  1. I know the feeling well, it's such a weird feeling of emptiness. But I must say that once they are settled and enjoying it, its so nice to know they are having fun with their friends and learning to be themselves and you can enjoy some "me" time! Take Care and enjoy a peaceful cuppa! x

  2. thank you. i know she's been waiting to have friends that she can see regularly and i'm so happy to have given her that.

    tea is a good friend right now, lol

  3. look at her smile! so sweet. I sometimes wonder if this transition is harder on the mothers. We put so much of ourselves, our heart and soul, into these little beings, it's hard to let it go. Even if it is only for a little bit. To know that she is so happy in her new environment is a help, I'm sure.

    and, I think the embroidery came out fantastic!! ;)

  4. oh goodness!! i think it's the most wonderful thing when a child is so ready to take that empowering for them (as gutting as it is for us at the time!)....and i'm guessing that having absolute faith that her mama will be there, ready for cuddles when she gets home, is what keeps her ticking merrily along...

    much love..xo

  5. @Amanda - she often pulls a face on the first photo, so to have her smile right off the bat says much!

    @mel - aw thanks... sweet thought.

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  7. So so happy for you friend, and for your darling girl. A loosening, then a tightening, then another loosening, and so it goes while we all grow
    much love Mon

  8. oh i remember this feeling...i still cannot focus for days when the kids head back to school each year, although there aren't the tears from me anymore (never was from them)'s just such a strange feeling that they are not right there...she looks so excited though, that glimmer in her eye...and your embroidery looks quite respectable to me:-)

  9. meant that they are not right there by me...

  10. Yes, just went through it with one and next year, another.
    I think it is harder for the mama sometimes because it is in our DNA to keep them safe. It is in their DNA to grow and become independent.
    SO, all is healthy. All is as it should be.

  11. I too remember this feeling... I still feel a little lost at times when my boy is away from me.

  12. Oh Mon. I feel this. I feel you. I remember my own tears on that first day, for that first week. HUGS!!!!!!!

  13. THis reminds me the first day I had to leave my kids in kindergarten...
    I felt I couldn't breathe! I was no ready to share my small people with the rest of the world ( if you know what I mean
    Still, I think it's much moredifficult for us than for our children!

  14. Reminds me so much of Michael's first day, so very very similar.


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