Tuesday, November 30

to do or not do

i feel like i'm in this floating place between focus and achievement, and, simplicity and hibernating.

i have a head impossibly full of ideas. i want to start giving them away. anyone short of ideas?

i want to achieve things. not in a huge way. i know that Making a Difference comes in all shapes and sizes. yet i do have ideas that are big by default.

anyway, it's a pull towards simplicity, deeper spiritual pursuits, doing less, mothering time, and yet, a desire towards Getting Things Done. i suppose the question is, which pull is strongest?

no, better yet, which runs deepest?



i've spent most of my life Getting Things Done. it comes naturally, but also i am aware of the childhood and social influences. that i should to get things done.

becoming a mother was the best teacher in learning to focus and slow down. you just have to don't you? if you want to be a mindful and present mama. but it comes with a challenge. suddenly time is zapped out from your life and there is panic. in a couple of years i've come a long way to finding peace and acceptance. to embracing it as a chance for depth and mindfulness, rather than seeing it as Lack of Time.

but still there persist my desires to do certain things. i no longer want to do it all, but i do have a few passions that request a voice.

i've always been a face-things-head-on person, yet the last few weeks i've found myself seduced with the call of running. to a tower or cave up in an inpenetrable mountain. with nothing but art supplies, books, cups of chai, some cushions, and my girl.

simplicity comes hardest to the passionate, i think.


13 comments:

  1. couldn't agree with you more...lol.

    it's a constant battle for me....and no, ideas are something i'm certainly not short of -- i'm quite sure i'm getting even a tiny bit better...at least learning to recognize the warning signs of Doing Too Much --and am able to set down the 'work' and just rest....

    if i could avoid Doing Too Much in the first place...well then -- that would be something.

    lovely, reflective post....thank you. xo

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  2. this is spot on the way i'm feeling right now. the pull to do less or do more. but for me, the Do Less part its manifesting in the desire to chuck it all and do nothing. forget all my dreams. so i'm grinding my heels into the dirt, resisting that pull. its not what i want. i want to Do Something but not Too Much. soon, i think, i'll move forward. once i find my balance.

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  3. Ohh, so true. Passion is like an ignition switch, but my kids keep me under the speeding limit, so to speak...

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  4. Funny that you wrote this because I've recently made a list of 40 things I want to do before I'm 40. I'm definitely going the other direction. :) Most of my life I've chosen the Do Nothing route. But I think the trick is in doing more of what you really want and less of the other, time wasting stuff.

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  5. mel, yep, constant.... i've gotten better at the not doing too much. yet when simplicity calls, it seems that even a little becomes DTM, ya know?

    sarah, feeling overwhelmed can certainly make me feel like doing nothing... well, not too often, my issue is the opposite end. but yes, do less has to be checked that it doesn't really mean doing nothing at all and as you say, forgo our dreams.

    mj, chuckle, well put.

    wendy, ah yes, the other end. and yes, whichever side you're coming from, it's about doing more of what you really want.

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  6. I feel this way too right now. I have an urge to get rid of all the unnecessary things in life, and focus on just a few things. Being Mama, being wife, being artist, being nature. Everything else that seems to clutter my mind needs to go away. I spend too much time contemplating everything and achieving nothing.

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  7. oh yes, this totally resonates. i feel lucky in those moments that i realize that my child is teaching me so much.

    lately i feel as though some of my dreams are possibly for other lifetimes!

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  8. This resonates with me too. The pull of the mama energy and the pull of the creative spirit, and then that of the daily tug of achievement and domesticity. The balance, the balance, the tides and the passions and how to ride the waves. Which piper's song to heed...

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  9. I'm always thinking of this quote:

    “Distinguish between the art of getting things done, and the nobler art of leaving things undone.”
    --Julie B. Beck

    Since becoming a mother I have realized I don't have the time in my life to follow all my pursuits. I've reached a place where I am comfortable giving up on many goals, and just sticking to the ones that are most important to me. I am open to dropping more of my current goals to allow new ones to form as I develop as a person. I think part of it has to do with fine-tuning ourselves.

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  10. By the way, I am loving so much of your photography these days. I love this shot and the one with the pine cones and mug. It makes me happy you seem to be enjoying this side of art as well. :)

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  11. thanks Lisa, i'm adoring phtography.

    thing is, is what to do when your deepest passions are difficult to squeeze in? i've gone through the process of choosing mindfully, now i find myself in a different place... what a truly wish to accomplish is so difficult to get to.

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  12. oh, i wish you lived near. i so love thinking big, and taking steps every day to get closer to that big passion. i'm so tired of talking about kids and laundry!

    what is it that you truly want to accomplish.

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  13. Hmm...good question. Let me know when you figure it out.

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