i feel like i'm in this floating place between focus and achievement, and, simplicity and hibernating.
i have a head impossibly full of ideas. i want to start giving them away. anyone short of ideas?
i want to achieve things. not in a huge way. i know that Making a Difference comes in all shapes and sizes. yet i do have ideas that are big by default.
anyway, it's a pull towards simplicity, deeper spiritual pursuits, doing less, mothering time, and yet, a desire towards Getting Things Done. i suppose the question is, which pull is strongest?
no, better yet, which runs deepest?
i've spent most of my life Getting Things Done. it comes naturally, but also i am aware of the childhood and social influences. that i should to get things done.
becoming a mother was the best teacher in learning to focus and slow down. you just have to don't you? if you want to be a mindful and present mama. but it comes with a challenge. suddenly time is zapped out from your life and there is panic. in a couple of years i've come a long way to finding peace and acceptance. to embracing it as a chance for depth and mindfulness, rather than seeing it as Lack of Time.
but still there persist my desires to do certain things. i no longer want to do it all, but i do have a few passions that request a voice.
i've always been a face-things-head-on person, yet the last few weeks i've found myself seduced with the call of running. to a tower or cave up in an inpenetrable mountain. with nothing but art supplies, books, cups of chai, some cushions, and my girl.
simplicity comes hardest to the passionate, i think.