Tuesday, October 5


“A (wo)man is not old until regrets take the place of her dreams.”

so i'm 40 today.

it's an essence of course, as 40 isn't really drastically different to 39 or 41. but that essence has magic to it.

at 30 i entered into what i felt was the full essence of womanhood. youth was behind me and now maturity and depth were ahead.

40 has a different magic, it is more powerful, stronger, surer, yet more peaceful.

40 doesn't have the serenity of 50, but it has a calm born from a confidence in being uniquely oneself.

40 has an arsenal of experience, a goldmine of wisdom, and oceans of clarity.

40 is taken seriously.

40 doesn't compete, fight the unfightable, linger over grudges, or over-analyse hurts.

40 has survived a broken heart, betrayal, and many losses. and is stronger for them.

40 doesn't blame others for her pains. she takes responsibility for her emotions and choices.

40 makes herself a priority.

40 is at ease in her own skin, is proud of her laugh lines, makes the best of what she's got, and revels in imperfections.

40 chooses quality over quantity.

40 doesn't ask others to change. she accepts, or moves on.

40 has no time for regrets, diets, gossip, celebrity news, being a victim, gaining approval, trying to get drunk, fashion anxiety, softening her voice, ignoring her dreams, selfish men, petty women, or trying to please.

40 says no with gusto.

40 usually knows where she wants to go, she definitely knows where she no longer wants to be.

40 encourages community but no longer needs to be part of the 'it' crowd.

40 knows the secret of a simple soap and a good moisturiser.

40 embraces the strength and beauty of other women, supports their choices, and is unthreatened by differences.

40 says goodbye to the hurt little girl.

40 can spot joy from 10 feet and knows to snag it in seconds.

40 has a laugh that is free from self-consciousness and quietly infects those around her.

40 knows there is so much more to learn and experience, but that the basics are in place.

40 has backbone.

40 has arrived.

it takes work to get to, and continue at, this 40. mindful and conscious living. if 40 is still in the distance for you, i wish for you the tenacity to do the work. it's worth it.
it's what makes 40 faaaaaabulous darlink!


  1. i love it!! LOVE IT!!
    Happy Birthday, Mon!!

  2. Wooohooo! This has me giggling with sheer delight. Fabulous and so f***ing true (apologies for the asterixes, but I don't swear on other people's blogs...heh).

    It's liberating and exciting to be moving more and more towards this kind of 40.

    Happy Birthday!

  3. Happy Birthday Dearest Mon! You made it to 40 and have so much to show for it, so much to gain. Truly happy to celebrate the wonderful woman you are today and love what you wrote above. xo

  4. Happy birthday! and Yes to all the above :)

  5. Happiest happiest Birthday wishes Mon xxx

    Chronologically speaking 40 is a little way off for me yet (5 years) but your post has heartened me as I realise that in so many ways I'm already there ;-)

  6. I love your acceptance and embracing of your life, I need to work harder at that.
    Happy Birthday

  7. Happiest of days, dear soul --- 40 comes in the spring for me....and if i wasn't already looking forward to it with great joy, i am now!


  8. Glistening shiny waves are sent your way~ I am behind you also adopting a peaceful stance.

  9. ~mon if i may i would l♥ve to print this out and keep it for when my time comes...a beautiful reminder to embrace our lives and what we have and what will be...moments and experiences...reflecting in such a gentle positive powerful way...bright birthday wishes to you...may this year bring forth only a bounty of blessings...moments of l♥ve and laughter constantly filling your heart and memories to savor always...may your spirit and soul forever remain as it is this day {ok maybe you can continue to grow in such a gorgeous way}...such peace you behold...much l♥ve and light upon you always~

  10. oh, this is beautiful. i love LOVE LOVE your positivity. i'm hitting 30 this year and have felt some measure of dread and impending loss at leaving what i consider to be youth...and i'm grateful for your perspective.

    happy, happy birthday to you!!!!

  11. Happy Birthday, Mon. I love your reflections on 40. You are an inspiration, as always.

  12. Happy birthday Mon (so it was the 5th lol)! Beautiful reflections on being 40. Have a great day!

  13. Birthday Wishes to you beautiful lady.. i hope you have a magical day and a wonderful year ahead. it's my grandmothers birthday today too, perhaps that's where i recognise your balanced nature from ;)

    love your thoughts on 40's essence..so very very true!

    "at 30 i entered into what i felt was the full essence of womanhood. youth was behind me and now maturity and depth were ahead."

    i must be a wee bit behind with some things lol. i still felt like a girl right through my 30's. didnt feel womanhood really hit til the 40's came along.. with an abundance of physical and emotional changes :o)

    hope your day is all you want it to be..


  14. I LOVE your 40! Although personally I still like to get drunk. And catch celebrity news. Once in awhile.

    Happy Birthday!!!! My life is richer for knowing you. XOXO

  15. I remember feeling a sense of freedom when I turned 40...like I finally grew into myself.

    Have a great birthday, Mon.

  16. thank you so much everyone. such lovely sentiments to read today.

  17. A big Happy 40th Birthday to you :) I hope your year is filled with lots of peace, love & happiness ...

  18. a sweet birthday to you ~ but i do think it's possible that you are 60 in a 30 year old body! very wise ~

  19. Wonderful reflections on turning 40. Happy birthday Mon... I'll be joining you in November. :)

  20. Ok, trying again. Love this! This should be a book! x0x0x

  21. what a wonderful,wonderful post!! i am 41. i was thrilled to see all of these things in writing!! i agree. 40's aren't bad at all!! you helped me to remember how far i have come!

    hope you have had a lovely day!! cheers to you. happy birthday!

  22. It's true, 40 is taken seriously. One of the things I like about 30 is it makes me sound more mature than a 20-something.

    After just under a year into my thirties, I can tell I am already on the path of many, if not all, of these lessons. I guess 30 is about becoming, 40 is about arriving. I'm looking forward to being a stronger woman at 40! Yay!

    Much love to you on your birthday.

  23. Happy Happy 40th birthday Mon. Such a great list. I love it.
    I am turning 45 this December and am just going through another reflection time. I loved turning 40 for the letting go of inhibitions, restrictions and old stuff that did not serve me anymore.
    You have arrived Mon, here's to another 40.

  24. Happy birthday! My 40s have been my best decade yet. I'm finally, at 47, starting to feel like a real grown-up. :)

  25. thanks everyone.

    and Lisa I ought to clarify that I enjoy a drink and getting tipsy, just not trying to get drunk. you know? ;)

    Lee yes! letting go of inhibitions!

  26. happy birthday, I hope you had a day filled with celebration, fun, family and friends. I wish for the year ahead to be full of the same, with lashings of love and laughter.

    I too am going to print this off and file it somewhere safe - I've a few years until the 40 landmark, but I want my entrance into my 40s to echo yours. It'll be something to work for over the next few years!

  27. Happy Birthday! I lOVE your space here as well as spiral sisters...thank you so much for coming over to my neck of the woods and leaving such a kind comment. I am badging you on my blog...I want to spread the goodness of your rich content and timely message about the power of healing/women and our inborn strength...

  28. Happy birthday, Mon. You have had a great positive effect in my life through your writing. I'm glad you were born : )

  29. Happy belated Birthday. Great post.

    I turned 43 a few weeks ago...definitely different than I was at 23, 33, which is WONDERFUL! ;)

  30. This is a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing it.

  31. Sweet 40!!! Love, love, love it. I starred this post in the middle of our move and am glad because now I get to read it again in the quiet, late night.

    Happy Belated Birthday! Happy Birth Day, Always.



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