Tuesday, August 17
how stringent are you with choosing friends?
as a loner, and someone who does best with 1-2-1 intimacy, i've never been one to have many close friends. so, i do choose my closest friends carefully, as do many of us.
but how stringent are we on differences? how often do we allow someone into our sphere that seems so very different to us? even holds different values or beliefs?
in my spheres i can include a christian or two (i'm not religious), social mothers (i'm a mindful one), city dwellers, homesteaders, a polythiestic shaman (don't believe in gods), working mothers, homeschoolers, pagans, business exec, hippies, meat eaters, a vegan, a few working hard to accumulate material security, crunchy mamas, some airy-fairy sort, the very down-to-earth......
when you examine your friendship circles, both inner and outer, how many different types of people can you spot?
do you have the courage to let in someone who challenges you? someone you disagree with on their parenting? someone who doesn't need your help? someone you feel could improve their lifestyle but has no intention on changing?
we find safety in sameness. and in our own fears we find security in gathering those who agree with us.
we grow with support and love, and sharing same values or lifestyles is satisfying and encouraging. but we stagnate without challenge.
i've learnt about the most difficult aspects of myself from those who are most different to me, and from those who trigger my fears, insecurities, and shadows.
also, i have become more compassionate.
online, i have witnessed so much division, between breastfeeders and formula users, between the semi-green and the super ecoconsious, between working mothers and the i-make-everything-by-handers, between schoolers and homeschoolers and unschoolers. we divide and divide and divide...until we are left with ultra exclusive and acutely narrow types of friendships.
and this breeds intolerance. even in the nicest of us.
can you stand firm in the uniqueness that is you, and allow another into your sphere that shines a very different light?