Monday, February 1

blogging mini crisis

Well, over the 4+ years I've been blogging, I've heard so many bloggers give up blogging, for some reason or another. Even just recently some of my favourite bloggers went off to ride with the winds.... I honour change and respect facing what is and isn't working. But it's always sad to say goodbye to them. I miss reading their thoughts in this unique format, even of those friends with which I have kept in contact.
It had'nt occured to me to do anything but continue on my merry blogging way. Until recently....

Blogging for me has been cathartic, a creative outlet, and I know (because of your wonderful comments and emails) that others have gained something from my simple yet honest words.

My mothering journey of these last 21-something months, especially my first year, would never have been the same if I hadn't blogged. I gained so much support, and gained so much by the act of putting my thoughts, pains, sorrows, conflicts, regrets, guilts, and joys, into words.

Recently, I turned a corner in my mothering. A corner so sharp it knocked the wind out of me. And as most of these things do, it was not just a change in my mothering, but also my soul, which carried over to my daughter, and then to my creativity, my attitudes, my thoughts of the future. All good I ought to add.

We are in a powerful Saturn-Pluto square, it demands transformation and the breaking down of structures, but also asks that we don't be rash.

So I'm just here to share with you, as I do, two things.

Firstly, a vague one - I don't know where my blogging is headed. Holistic Mama has been a 'baby' to me, it has brought me much joy and healing. But I am feeling disconnected from it now. Although it feels good writing here even now.
And not just the joys, but the friendships, whether strong or in passing, connections nonetheless.

However, I don't have any further thoughts than this. So no, I'm not saying goodbye.

The second thing is easy to say, and that's thank you.

Although I began blogging just for me, things started to shine when you all dropped in. I have seen regulars come and go, and a few have been in it for the long haul. At 300+ feed readers, I must have lurkers out there too! And I thank you as well :)

I thank everyone who has left a comment at one time or another, because blogging can become quite lonely, and even just someone saying, hi, enjoyed your post is something.

But mostly I thank every friend who put their heart out there to offer moral support and encouragement, to those that shared the fire of disagreement and mind expansion, and even more so, to those that shared their own story here. Not only have you helped me by feeling less alone, or confirmed some feeling or thought, you also helped others.

I know this is coming across a little earnest, hard not to make it so. But really, I mean it, you guys have been the best. And I wanted you to know that.

What happens from now on I don't know. My girl is only 21 months, I have 300 million situations ahead of me that will require pondering and evolving from, or gritting my teeth through, so why I'm feeling so uninspired here at this early stage I don't know. shrug

So anyway, just wanted to share where I'm at, and possibly explain my lack of blogging, and lack of commenting on all your wonderful blogs.

Perhaps it's just a shift and I will return renewed......

20 comments:

  1. Go with the flow mama... Blog if you like, don't if you don't. All those folk will still love having you around when & if you surface - but anyway you're not doing it for them, right? Personally speaking, I think mini crises are great - things come to a head things; clarify; change direction; focus; defocus - it's exciting! Still wishing you & WF sleepy thoughts (my money's on sleep deprivation as a passion-killer!) & waiting for a space to be with you...
    *HUGS* (with hugs on!)

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  2. hey. loved your post.

    :-)

    you have gotten the absolute most from the past 21 months with your girl, I delight in thinking how awesome ... intense ... challenging ... uplifting the coming few thousand months are going to be for you.

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  3. thank YOU, mon...you have taken many of us with you on your mothering journey to date, and i know I at least have also turned a corner in my parenting because of sharing this process with you here...rethinking and/or taking a breaking from blogging seems to just be part of the process for most...as the Buddha would say 'everything is transient!'

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  4. I'm a lurker... I just want you to know I really enjoy your posts! Keep up the good work... Blessed Be - Pip from Sydney

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  5. Mon, I thank you for always sharing "you" in your posts. You are so generous in your words and thoughts with all of us. Take some time to breathe away from here if you need to. We'll be here for you when you need us. Hugs.

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  6. Mon, I'd miss you very much if you were to take a hiatus, but I completely understand what you mean about feeling so uninspired sometimes even when life is chalked full of inspiration. Sometimes it's all I have to just get through the day, and though my head is bursting with thoughts, it can be too much to actually sit and type them.
    I've appreciated all of your honesty, and I hope you'll be here writing when you have something to say. I'll certainly be ready to read.

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  7. I'm kind of lurky, in that I read all your posts but I don't tend to comment. Your blog has enabled me to have an understanding of the faith of the man I love, and that is something I can never thank you enough for.

    *hug* to your small one

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  8. Wow. I KNEW something was up Mon. Glad you chose to share it with us all: the lurkers, the regulars, the passerbys. Do what you gotta do. We'll all miss you if you leave but we all completely understand if you decide it's what you need to do. I echo Den's comments above regarding the sleep deprivation and the toll it must be taking. Wherever you are, real or virtual, I wish you and your family the very best in life, love, health and happiness. Love, Jenn xoxo

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  9. Darn it. I forgot to add that Mon was the reason I began to blog in the first place. She directed me to her blog shortly after I met her. I was rather fascinated and still am. She encouraged me to start blogging myself. So she'll always be my Blog Mentor even if she launches out of the blogosphere :-)

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  10. I would definitely miss your words Mon, but can somehow relate.
    Maybe it is a winter thing, you know when all the processes and ponderings that we go through remain more internal and slightly darker.
    Big hugs to you!

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  11. Nicely said, and I strangely have been feeling the same way. A little disconnected...
    I love your blog, your writing and hope you stick around and find a way to continue blogging. And your wildflower is soooooo cute!!!

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  12. this indecisiveness about blogging seems so universal right now! i've seen it on other blogs, felt it myself, and had conversations IRL (as much as I hate that term!) about it! everyone feels overwhelmed. then they remember that blogging sometimes eases that overwhelm...but still they are pulled to do so many other things.

    maybe we all need a disconnect month! :)

    you've created an amazing space, but most importantly, you've put your brave intention and honesty out there. that stuff is never lost.

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  13. Thank you for this post. I too had a blogging crisis. My blog started as my infertility journey and transitioning to a "mommy blogger" is really hard. I would say just do what feels right when it feels right. Your online blogging community will always be here!

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  14. Oh, I'm totally with cypress sun! If we all just took a blogging break together, it would be so much easier! We wouldn't have to worry about missing out on other blog posts. It might be a little lonely, but I bet it'd be worth it!

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  15. ((HUGS)) Blogging is a lot more work than people think! What ever you decide, I wish you the best!

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  16. Blog without obligation, honey. It's okay to take a well-earned breather.

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  17. I hear ya! I've hardly had a thing to say lately and also suddenly can't stand the name of my blog or how it looks - the whole thing is pretty weird to me - I'm trying to keep up - if for no other reason than the grandmas in our family - but seriously can't seem to make myself give a sh*t and still hate my blog name in a not-the-least-bit-rational kinda violent way.
    If this is how the year begins I can only wonder at how bumpy the rest of '10 is gonna be :)

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  18. I just found you and so don't have a history here. But, I have to agree with Amanda...Blog for yourself, without obligation. If it becomes a hassle, take some time away. Find ways to re-fill, re-new, yourself. And when (if) you return...we will all be here waiting. xo

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  19. Phew! I thought you were signing off. So many of my fave bloggers have left recently! :( Of course, I'd understand if you felt that need, but I sure hope you stick around!

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  20. i just recently starting blogging and just happened to stumble onto your page. i am glad to see you are still "with us" in the computer world. i really enjoy your insights and the wonderful way you express yourself. have a great day!

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