Well, over the 4+ years I've been blogging, I've heard so many bloggers give up blogging, for some reason or another. Even just recently some of my favourite bloggers went off to ride with the winds.... I honour change and respect facing what is and isn't working. But it's always sad to say goodbye to them. I miss reading their thoughts in this unique format, even of those friends with which I have kept in contact.
It had'nt occured to me to do anything but continue on my merry blogging way. Until recently....
Blogging for me has been cathartic, a creative outlet, and I know (because of your wonderful comments and emails) that others have gained something from my simple yet honest words.
My mothering journey of these last 21-something months, especially my first year, would never have been the same if I hadn't blogged. I gained so much support, and gained so much by the act of putting my thoughts, pains, sorrows, conflicts, regrets, guilts, and joys, into words.
Recently, I turned a corner in my mothering. A corner so sharp it knocked the wind out of me. And as most of these things do, it was not just a change in my mothering, but also my soul, which carried over to my daughter, and then to my creativity, my attitudes, my thoughts of the future. All good I ought to add.
We are in a powerful Saturn-Pluto square, it demands transformation and the breaking down of structures, but also asks that we don't be rash.
So I'm just here to share with you, as I do, two things.
Firstly, a vague one - I don't know where my blogging is headed. Holistic Mama has been a 'baby' to me, it has brought me much joy and healing. But I am feeling disconnected from it now. Although it feels good writing here even now.
And not just the joys, but the friendships, whether strong or in passing, connections nonetheless.
However, I don't have any further thoughts than this. So no, I'm not saying goodbye.
The second thing is easy to say, and that's thank you.
Although I began blogging just for me, things started to shine when you all dropped in. I have seen regulars come and go, and a few have been in it for the long haul. At 300+ feed readers, I must have lurkers out there too! And I thank you as well :)
I thank everyone who has left a comment at one time or another, because blogging can become quite lonely, and even just someone saying, hi, enjoyed your post is something.
But mostly I thank every friend who put their heart out there to offer moral support and encouragement, to those that shared the fire of disagreement and mind expansion, and even more so, to those that shared their own story here. Not only have you helped me by feeling less alone, or confirmed some feeling or thought, you also helped others.
I know this is coming across a little earnest, hard not to make it so. But really, I mean it, you guys have been the best. And I wanted you to know that.
What happens from now on I don't know. My girl is only 21 months, I have 300 million situations ahead of me that will require pondering and evolving from, or gritting my teeth through, so why I'm feeling so uninspired here at this early stage I don't know. shrug
So anyway, just wanted to share where I'm at, and possibly explain my lack of blogging, and lack of commenting on all your wonderful blogs.
Perhaps it's just a shift and I will return renewed......