It's easy to be thankful for the good stuff, can you be thankful for the not so good?
(as serious or light-hearted as you like) read more here
I thought I didn't have one this week, and then I remembered and realised I needed this...
A few weeks back I managed to carve out some writing time in the early mornings before the Wildflower woke up. A few nights I stayed up late too. At the time, this was essential. Our days were tough and that mental space helped me find serenity.
But this wasn't sustainable. As we go to bed together at 11pmish and she wakes 4-8 times a night, I'm exhausted. I'm grateful that she sleeps late so that I can sleep in late too. But the tiredness means that choosing to get up before her is a choice of giving up precious sleep. I get a max of 5hrs a night, never more than 2hrs at a stretch.
This last couple of weeks it hasn't even felt like a choice. My body just would Not. Get. Up.
And so that mental space, that time for me, that open breath where I could write... is not there. I had ideas and thoughts that wanted writing that were lost forever because I didn't have a chance to jot them down. And I have felt tearful this week.
I either sleep or I have space. I can make that choice against sleep, but when my body fights me, when I'm exhausted, I have to give it what it craves.
After all I wrote recently about those really tough weeks, she's been so much calmer this week. I believe the teething is on suspension for now. And I'm grateful for that as at least I'm not at breaking point. But, that space, that beautiful space of mine, where my mind exhales....
How can I be thankful for that loss?
I'm thankful anyway because...
... not having it means I'll cherish it even more when I do finally get it.
... it means that I'm prioritising tiny moments, being ruthless about which blogs I read, where I put my energies, leaving FB by the wayside.
... it forces me to declutter my desires, interests, and projects.
... it makes me insanely grateful for the chances to write that I do get however small, like blogging.
... and of course, that lack of space means I have a gorgeous child of my own.
This was tough to find the thankfulness.
I've seen new faces take on this Thankful Anyway challenge. But there's a slip back into the old thankful ways! The idea is to be thankful for the ACTUAL CRAP, to turn it around. So if your boss has been mean and unreasonable, being thankful for your loving husband is NOT the idea. Be thankful for the mean boss because he forces you to learn to stand up for yourself for example. C'mon, if I can do it, so can you.
If you've done your own Thankful Anyway, go ahead and add your link - directly to the post - to the linky below (not visible in feed reader). Grab the button up the top (right click & Save As) and a link back is always nice.