As a true Libran, compromise is my middle name. And we all learn how love and friendship etc is all about compromise and as women we learn about compromise more than the others and spiritually we understand how compromise is growth and Love.....
.... but I've discovered just how damaging compromise is.
I guess it's like everything, we chant out 'in moderation' to each other. When is compromise too far?
When we've given up a part of who we are.
In my last post I started talking about what I believe are our 3 main soul-needs. And if we compromise anything that fulfills those needs, that's going too far. Don't you think?
People are doing this every day - going too far. When we have a choice, we choose the mind-numbing jobs, the hurtful partner, the incongruent lifestyle, becoming martyrs to parenthood.....
Some of you know that I've been going through some intense and life-changing upheaval these last few months. In that time, I've had a little space to do much soul-searching. Sometimes the thoughts were spontaneous blossoms from my situation.
I was an over-compromiser. Not in the obvious doormat variety. But in the strong woman, opinionated, vocal person variety. Yep, the kind that you can be forgiven for not spotting.
painting: Jaap Hart
And so I stopped compromising. And my life became an explosion of anger, tensions, loud silences... but I didn't compromise. Even though I was seduced every day to do just that. How easy a choice that seemed!
But I didn't.
And so today I find myself moving on the even more authentic road towards my dream life.
In tiny daily ways... I'm doing less of what is pure obligation, and more of what my soul needs. I'm discovering the maginificence of giving, alongside the necessity and rightness of mindful selfishness.
In big ways... my husband and I are re-inventing our marriage (after 13 years), we're discussing how to live in two countries, travel a whole lot more, not be tied down by work or bricks and mortar, and I'm writing every day.
Yes, there's still compromise. Impossible to be in any human relationship without it. But it's not soul-compromising compromise.
Also blogging at Crooked Hooks & chewing on a leaf