Sunday, August 16

candlelight paradox

I know, I've gone somewhat AWOL (unless you're on FB with me, and I'm still commenting out there). Things have been really tough here. However, I crossed a junction.

I've been at that crossroads for what feels like the longest time. Not because I didn't know which road to take, but rather because I needed to wait for Fate to complete her tasks. Not all is in our hands.

And so I crossed, and behind me I see pain, pain still occuring. I see broken pieces.

Le Guin once wrote, “To light a candle is to cast a shadow.”

Those words have many meanings for me. But one meaning that is relevant at the moment, is that sometimes making choices towards happiness creates sadness somewhere else. Either in ourselves, or in others. Sometimes we give up something precious, or the hope of it, for a better chance at happiness.


photo: ragstatic

And that's what I've done. I feel for those in the shadows cast by the candle of my choice. But there is only one life, and if happiness is in our grasp, isn't it right that we reach for it?

And so I bask in the light. I feel like I can breathe again, as if I had been wearing a face mask guarding me from poison air. My heart is lighter. I can't say it's joy just yet, because while I won't be brought down by the shadows, I acknowledge they are there. I validate them.

It's difficult to experience joy at a tearing down, but we can see a break in the clouds. And that feels lighter.... better.

13 comments:

  1. Well you already know what I have to say about all this. I love the quote about the candle and the shadow..so fitting. May you be strong. May your light shine so bright.

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  2. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself. I really relate to what you're experiencing. I too am basking in that light.

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  3. i think sometimes in order to grow and do the things we need to do, it can cause us and/or others pain. but this is not necessarily bad pain or any reason to avoid making the decisions we know in our heart to be important. i'm glad you're able to do what you need to do and that whatever trouble you have been facing might be on it's way to being behind you~ (hug)

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  4. Yet another very timely post...I feel like I'm standing with the candle in front of me, the taper is in my hand, lit, but I haven't yet drawn the courage to touch it to the wick...

    Thank you for this reminder....

    It occurs to me that those in the shadows, can always choose to light their own candles as well...

    ~blessings and strength~

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  5. ooh, nice point Mel.

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  6. Aha, I see where my story and your story mirror each other. I don't understand the details of yours, but wow, I see how powerfully you need to let go of something/someone and how it can lift you up even as it may hurt others. Thanks for the perspective. :)

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  7. Enjoy the light Mon, you deserve to be happy.

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  8. Mon, I feel you. I've come to a place where sometimes in that confusing, dark place I just *know* that I'm still on my path and somewhere, at some perfect time the clouds will break so that I perfectly look up and smile at the moment life needs my smile to inspire an action that keeps the energy moving towards whole and planetary health.

    I really appreciate your honesty and intuitive experience.

    (p.s. I gave you the Kreativ Blogger Award! Check here for the details http://infinitelearners.com/kreativ-blogger-award/)

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  9. Mel made a wonderful point. I am tempted to expand upon it but right now I think I'll just send you blessings and hugs. It wouldn't be the right thing that you're doing if you didn't worry about the pain it might cause others.

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  10. Mon, I am so glad you are beginning to feel better. I know that feeling of the "clouds breaking." Yeah, it's like you can breathe again. Things should get better now, right? At least you can breathe, anyway.

    And YES, we should reach for that happiness. Joy is for anyone that wants it.

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  11. Your post reminds me of what my mom used to tell me when I was growing up, but it's still applicable daily. Sometimes choosing the right thing isn't always the easy thing for whatever reason. But that doesn't make it any less right.
    Hope that makes some kind of sense and gives you a little more peace.

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  12. Beautiful post. I love that sky in the photo.
    I wonder what decision you have made...
    Yours in strength and the wonder and paradoxical beauty of it all, (^_^).

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  13. I too love what Mel said about others being able to light their own candles. HFW echoed it as well with her mom's words. May those in your life who have been cast in shadow see their own bright lights and may your path be free of obstacles going forward.

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