Thursday, April 23

Thankful Anyway Thursday

It's easy to be thankful for the good stuff, can you be thankful for the not so good?

When the Wildflower is irritable or cranky for whatever reason, she ends up slapping me in the face. And as tooth number six pushed through, we've had plenty of crankiness these last few days. It isn't usually a direct slap, more like she becomes heavy-handed. She also grabs a handful of skin and flesh and pulls. ARGH. Ah, my Aries princess. And if it was done alongside a raging episode, I could probably accept it better. But it's done with outward calm. It isn't until I stop her that she freaks out.

May I just have it down for the record?

I hate, HATE, HATE, HATE this.

and breeeeathe.......

I reeeeeeally dislike being physically abused. It's way above Constant Whining for getting my screech on. Despite my patience about most anything, this one does it for me.



Deep breath....

I'm thankful anyway because it's an indication of her strong character. Her self-confidence. Basically, her refusal to take crap.
I'm thankful anyway because I am at least able to recognise that it's a definite trigger for me. I'm able to see that I need to release these feelings. That I can step away, go into another room, and scream/cry/beat the crap out of a poor unsuspecting pillow (haven't done any of these yet, but am willing to).
I'm thankful anyway because it means that she doesn't bottle up her feelings for fear of my disapproval.
I'm thankful anyway because this behaviour gives me a clear sign of when she has pent up frustration that needs release with a good cry.

Give me a shout out if you do this, I'll add your link to this post.

Jumbleberry Jam
Lisa, Phillip, & Michael

14 comments:

  1. Big hugs. That's rough when you find that your biggest trigger is what they challenge the most.

    I've noticed that the traits that we most want our children to have as adults are the traits that are the most trying to foster and encourage and live with in them as children. Which is basically what you said. I have a willful child also.

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  2. Catching up after a few days of having no time; firstly, belated happy birthday to the Wildflower - it sounds like you had a lovely day together, and the pic is adorable. Second, I hear you on the face-grabbing, though this end, it's because the witchling just wants to see what you feel like, I think, rather than because she's irritable - for the record, that doesn't make it any less of a 'gah!'-engendering thing! :)

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  3. Cave Baby is just discovering what a powerful little being she is: she can make her parents cry out and bring tears to their eyes with her little grasping, pinching hands. I can empathise with your annoyance at the Wildflower. I am wondering if this is just a phase, or is it something I am going to have to find a strategy to deal with in the long term? I think Earthenwitch is right: it is mainly just exploration.

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  4. Beating up a pillow is a great release. Or a good loud scream into it. Oh the slapping and tugging and all that, we went through it too. Although it was short lived (thank goodness). These little ones can surely push our buttons at times. Good for you for being thankful anyway.

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  5. test duplicate comment (please ignore)

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  6. Ah-ha! So, my previous comment didn't work...take 2!

    ***

    Poor Mama. Poor Wildflower. Teething was unbearable for us. I think it's a miracle we made it through.

    I love your "thankful anyway thursdays" and have joined in the fun at my place. Thanks!

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  7. ooh this is a good one. i like the good things you see in this. i will think of these things next time my little bear decides to bite my shoulder!

    i'm discovering our little one is also very strongwilled. i'm trying too to be thankful for that. in the moments when i feel overwhelmed :)

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  8. Yea, I've had my share of abuse too, even a black eye at one point (although that was an accidental head-butt), but for me it's the opposite - I'll take the hits over constant whining any day...so I'm going to work on reasons for being thankful for the whining...hmmmm...it shows their vocal chords are working? They have terrific persistence?...I'm going to have to spend some time on this one I think.
    But of course you know the physical thing is not personal, they really don't understand that other's feel and hurt just like they do yet. I am sure you do know that because of your background, but it was actually a big shock to me as a parent...I somehow thought kids were naturally compassionate, and they are in some ways, but not really...for the most part, they have to learn how they impact others (and of course some adults have never learned this...)

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  9. Oh, I so know where you're coming from with this one. The slapping and pinching is bad, but the whining drives me insane.

    I think I should probably try to join in soon...

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  10. Oh this is a good one. It can be so hard to keep patient when a knee-jerk response to something like this is to react, and quickly.

    ~Tara

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  11. I hear ya. My son will lash out with fists or head butts when he's very upset. It's so hard to keep calm and help him remember how to use words instead. I get so angry!

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  12. That is such a hard thing to be thankful for, but you said it beautifully. When she gets older, you'll probably be even more thankful that she has a strong personality and knows what she wants. It's all about helping her focus that energy in a positive direction -- that's what I say about my son's strong-willed behavior, at least! Hugs, mama.

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  13. It can be so challenging to guide little ones in a more positive direction--when they are in the middle of a rage. Everyone has to handle this in the way that feels best to them--but with our twins (boy and girl-15 months) we just hold onto their hand and say, "I'm sorry, but you don't get to hit me." Sometimes the words are, "You can have your hand back when you are going to be soft," then just hang onto their hand for about 10 seconds. They get mad, but ours have just about stopped the slapping thing now.
    You are wise to be addressing this when she's so young. You're a good mom.

    Oh, and about the bags--I don't actually have a written pattern. It's just in my head. I don't really know how to form a real pattern. I'm working on it.

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  14. Hi everyone, thanks for your support and ideas. These strong-willed babies are amazing gifts, but sure are tough for us parents!

    Lisa - I'm sure I will have plenty of whinng to contend with later, lol. perhaps whining is only second right now because there isn't much of it anyway.

    Ah, the joys to come...

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