Ignore flexible, thick and thereby easy to use yarn. Find some fine 2ply baubly hemp yarn that is made for expert knitters only.
Do not, under any circumstances, wait for a how-to book. Do not cheat by finding a comprehensive website and starting from A to Z. Following step-by-step instructions comes under the heading of Logic, which is severely frowned upon by the Insane.
Along the same lines, you are permitted to learn the first two stitches, knit and purl. However, it is then expected that you do not learn the next easy stitch, but that you plunge right in and attempt a rib stitch sample, simply because you were blogsurfing and came upon one blogger's post.
You should now be at the stage where you have knitted several rows, several times, and, if you have been Insane enough to do all of the above, created something that is an abomination to the eyes. It should be so bad, that peeople would pay money to see it as a circus show of freak curios.
Now, you will not accept that you should be doing anything as rational as Starting From Scratch. What are you, sane!? No, instead, you will carry on and jump right in to a scarf pattern.
By this stage, you might have acquired a pair of regular knitting needles and some yarn. This is acceptable as long as you have spent enough time pulling your hair out with wooden skewers, or similar utensils.
New stitches will be learnt as you make the scarf. It would have been much to straight-forward to learn them beforehand. Yarn over, k2tog, and even how to read a pattern, all done during the process.
Easy patterns are okay, but you must not be seen to go for the easiest. It is expected that you have only one pair of proper needles and thereby limited to which patterns you could follow anyway. This is ideal, as it means that you will end up following something that is seemingly easy, but actually is nothing of the kind to a novice. That is the key to true insanity.
You will begin the pattern with a cocky 'I can do this' (only the truly insane would utter such a thing after the previous botched attempts). You will knit about 12 rows, realise you've made grave mistakes, consider calling it abstract art, admitting it won't even pass for that, and finally end up proclaiming that knitting is the Devil's Own Pastime.
Of course, you will persevere. You are after all a lunatic.
The least offensive:
(forgot to take a photo of the abominations, or, I thought they would hurt your eyes)
Remember, your goal is to cause every decent knitter to nash their teeth and wail in pain. However, your ultimate goal is to ensure that at no time whatsoever, does knitting become therapeutic, but rather that you continually descend further into the abysses of insanity. An inexplicably uneven tension should help with that.