Ah darn it. I had a very blue day yesterday and still this morning. Despite my philosophical take on the sleepless nights, my body still wants it of course. I'm feeling the strain of it all. My body's chemistry is very messed up. I'm exhausted and feeling run down and tearing up for 'no reason'.
Add to this a recent event. A little scrap of a kitten that has been living downstairs in a storage room and frightened silly of people, adopted us. Over a couple of days, I had her taking food from my hands and eventually laying on her back purring contentedly from belly rubs. She ate as if she had never seen food before and I thought she might have worms. After a few days of our food scraps I realised that she just didn't trust that food would always be there. Eventually she trusted and she actually turned some down.
Then when DIY Dad came home, she got a belly rub and followed him back to the car. Fancy that. A cat that was terrified of people just a week ago was following him for more attention.
And she got run over by a passing car.
Somehow, with what appeared to be broken back legs, she ran to the only home she's ever known, our place. By the time I came out she had taken her last breath. It was just a day away from me taking a photo and blogging about her, our little Scraps. We're both huge softies when it comes to animals. I take these losses hard, despite accepting that's the cycle of life.
This of course brought up all the feelings of our beloved dog Mishko that we had to put to sleep just 3 months ago.
I know, sorry, this is a depressing post. But I'm here to be authentic. And that was me yesterday and this morning, tearful.
But in the cycle of life, sad is not permanent, sad is always in the experience of becoming happy.