Wednesday, November 5

night meditations

My night last night (with my thoughts):

The times are correct although I rounded them off. I have a weird need to know the time when I wake throughout the night.

10:50pm - walk/bounce the wildflower to fall asleep
11:30pm - lay her on my bed

11:40pm - I go to bed

11:50pm - she wakes for water (great start!)
12:05am - she stirs and wakes me (sigh)
12:30 - she wants water (I'm thankful for this extra moment to be with her)

12:45am - I get out of bed to take her milk bottle out of the fridge (I need sleep, bloody hell I need sleep), back into bed

1:10am - wakes for milk (I'm a nurturer)
1:25am - she won't settle back, we walk back and forth in the dark room
(I'm thankful for the extra moments to hold her, one day she won't be a baby any longer and won't want to be carried)

2:45am - she's fully asleep, back to bed
2:55am - she flips over on back, half awake I cuddle her
(she has night stress, I'm her comfort)

around 15 mins later - she's fully asleep

4:30am - she stirs just enough to wake me (I'm thankful that I'm a sensitive sleeper, I'll always be right there to attend to her needs)
4:45am - she wants water (I'm like a bottomless well, she can always drink from me)
4:50am - she's back to sleep, I get up to take her milk bottle out (please sleep after milk, please sleep after milk)
5:40am - she has her milk and is a little too awake, so we walk (I am her support)
6:00am - back in bed, asleep
7:15am - I hear her stir, check the time and sigh as I watch her wake for the day, babbling, stretching and grinning at her night partner
(through stress/anxieties/discomfort/primal needs, I will be her constant safe place, so that she may know peace)

2 comments:

  1. Goodness me! Like my little one was, your Wildflower is the Queen of the 20 Minute Nap...it's all coming back to me now.

    It's so true that we are their comfort, and their safe place. Their need for love and closeness, and their vulnerability just melts away any resistance to the sleep-deprivation.

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  2. I read this over a week ago, and am still thinking about it.

    I am really touched to read your night meditations. Bless you -- and your sweet baby! -- for being together.

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